Many of us like to think that when life is going well we get to experience ourselves at our best. We’re happy so therefore we must be at our best… right?
But when it comes to mindsets and how we choose to look at life, the above is a limiting way think.
Try this on…
What if, when the external (that is, everything outside of us) heats up and puts the pressure on, instead of thinking
“This is the exception and it’s showing the worst of me!”
you decide… “When the pressure is on, I get to experience the truth of myself and I get to experience the best of me.”
Sure there may be a few cracks, bumps and rough bits to attend to, but in this situation you see the best of you.
Because it’s easy staying calm, happy and open when the going is good. There’s no pressure and only the perfect parts of us are seen.
BUT, our true self surfaces when the going gets tough.
To decide if this new mindset or way of thinking might be useful to you, consider this:
How might believing this improve your life?
One client (we’ll call her Sandy), had chosen to believe ‘having children’ had destroyed her marriage.
We met her 3 years after her separation. Her relationship with her children was suffering as she blamed them for causing her such heartache.
With a bit of guidance (e.g. What if the kids showed you the relationship at it’s “best”) and the space to more carefully consider her thinking, Sandy quickly realised the children hadn’t been the cause of the challenges in her marriage.
They were simply a bright light that exposed the cracks that were already in the relationship.
Sandy could see in hindsight that the pressure of the children had shown the the true relationship at it’s ‘best’ and that was a long way from what she had wanted.
The shift in thinking was life changing for not only Sandy, but for her children as well.
In seeing it was not the children, Sandy could finally acknowledge her contribution to the relationship break down – when she looked at the ‘best’ SHE had to offer in that relationship, she suddenly saw lots of room for improvement and in taking responsibility at that level she now had the chance to avoid making the same mistakes again!
Rather than seeing her children as ‘marriage wreckers’ she got to see them for the beautiful souls they were and the children had the weight of their mother’s anger lifted from them. That’s wins all around!
We find this mindset shift can have a positive impact on LOTS of challenges. We hope it’s useful for a few of the ones you are facing.