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How to Avoid needing luck to get to your ideal life

How to Avoid needing luck to get to your ideal life

leadership development coaching

6 months ago Sarah had been looked at doing some personal development.  She’d been looking for quite a period of time already and had done seminars, business coaching and lots of networking.  It was all with the aim of becoming more profitable so she could get to that deep sense of internal success.  But, despite her efforts and some success, it was still an elusive feeling for her.

Through our conversation Sarah became aware of mindset coaching.  And quickly found herself feeling extremely excited about the idea of applying it to her life.  She finally had clarity & knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that her mindset was holding her back and she knew she needed a shift.  An on the spot commitment was made to do some coaching.

15 hours later (after sleeping on the idea) Sarah hit the pause button.

She trusted the system.

She could see the possibilities.

Yet, she chose to do nothing…!

Why would she choose to do nothing at such an important time?

Especially when the way forward seemed so clear.

And it meant that Sarah decided not to proceed at that time.

Time passed …

… 6 months later we were talking to Sarah again but by this time she was a mindset mentoring client.  She’d been working with us for 3 months.

Sarah was explaining how lucky she felt: Her husband, who met a client of ours at a social event*, heard what mindset mentoring & coaching was all about and on hearing the shifts that could be made he insisted Sarah work with us.   Nice hubby!

* How that came about is a story for another day!

Sarah said she felt so grateful because her whole life had shifted for the better since doing the coaching – in business, in her relationship & most importantly, in her sense of self.  The outcomes she’d experienced were even better than what she’d hoped for during that very first conversation.

Importantly for us (and for you in reading this) she also gave us a specific insight into why she’d hesitated 6 months earlier.

Sarah wanted to let us know what had happened for her so we could use it to assist others who found themselves in a similar position – because not everyone would have a hubby like she had!  She shared that on the day we met, when we’d spoken about the mindset coaching and how it worked… she felt a sense of freedom. A lightness – like a weight was literally being lifted from her. She saw and felt the possibility of no longer feeling tied down (which is how she’d felt for the few years leading up to our conversation).  And in our discussion her surface worries were easily and openly answered by us.  Everything felt like it was flowing in the right direction and she could see the light at the end of the tunnel.

She also explained that the day after we first spoke she felt paralysed.  The self talk that had kept her stuck for a few years was stronger than ever and the light at the end of the tunnel seemed a long, long way away.

She wanted the coaching and knew it could lead to her getting that elusive feeling of being fulfilled.  But, and this is a BIG ‘But’, at the same time she felt that a large part of the feeling of being ‘tied down’ was linked to her relationship.

And, what she hadn’t shared with me in that initial chat, but shared on that day 6 months laster was that she linked ‘feeling free’ to ‘not being in my relationship’.

She said that the latter thought was something she’d NEVER voiced.  And even when she thought about it, it was only ever a fleetingly thought and then it was dismissed.

So, while the conversation with us had felt great, the underlying mixed feelings (<<<LINK) and negative links to what she believed needed to happen in order for her to get to the feeling of being free, paralysed her.

I took Sarah through the 3 “Moving Past being Stuck” strategies so she could give them a test run (albeit in hindsight).

1) Project it out.

Sarah could have considered the ‘worst case’ scenario.  What if here fear was true?!  She could compare another 10 years of feeling tied down to the worst case of leaving her husband in the next year (which would certainly feel bad at least initially) and having 9 years of not “feeling tied down” (and not being with her hubby).  She said this might work in other scenarios for but in this situation it didn’t work as the feeling of not being with her hubby was not a good feeling!

2) Be your own best friend.

This one may have worked she said.  If she had been able to get away from the overwhelming feeling of having to leave her husband in order to feel free then she may have been able to see one of the hundreds of other alternative outcomes that didn’t involve the worst case of leaving her hubby. While she wouldn’t have known how to take action she would have felt good about making the decision to do coaching.

3) Do it for the kids

For Sarah this was the sure fire strategy.  She certainly wanted her children to be able to look after their own well being and happiness in the future.  And she understood that for her to give them the best chance of being able to do that she would need to role model it herself.  With that in mind the idea of taking a step in faith and trusting her original belief in herself and the coaching would be the best way to proceed.

So, if you’ve been in Sarah’s position we’d encourage you to run your concerns through the Moving Past Being Stuck strategies so you can free yourself up and start moving toward your ideal life!

She could see the possibilities.

Yet, she chose to do nothing…!

Why would she choose to do nothing at such an important time?

Especially when the way forward seemed so clear.

And it meant that Sarah decided not to proceed at that time.

Time passed …

… 6 months later we were talking to Sarah again but by this time she was a mindset mentoring client.  She’d been working with us for 3 months.

Sarah was explaining how lucky she felt: Her husband, who met a client of ours at a social event*, heard what mindset mentoring & coaching was all about and on hearing the shifts that could be made he insisted Sarah work with us.   Nice hubby!

* How that came about is a story for another day!

Sarah said she felt so grateful because her whole life had shifted for the better since doing the coaching – in business, in her relationship & most importantly, in her sense of self.  The outcomes she’d experienced were even better than what she’d hoped for during that very first conversation.

Importantly for us (and for you in reading this) she also gave us a specific insight into why she’d hesitated 6 months earlier.

Sarah wanted to let us know what had happened for her so we could use it to assist others who found themselves in a similar position – because not everyone would have a hubby like she had!  She shared that on the day we met, when we’d spoken about the mindset coaching and how it worked… she felt a sense of freedom. A lightness – like a weight was literally being lifted from her. She saw and felt the possibility of no longer feeling tied down (which is how she’d felt for the few years leading up to our conversation).  And in our discussion her surface worries were easily and openly answered by us.  Everything felt like it was flowing in the right direction and she could see the light at the end of the tunnel.

She also explained that the day after we first spoke she felt paralysed.  The self talk that had kept her stuck for a few years was stronger than ever and the light at the end of the tunnel seemed a long, long way away.

She wanted the coaching and knew it could lead to her getting that elusive feeling of being fulfilled.  But, and this is a BIG ‘But’, at the same time she felt that a large part of the feeling of being ‘tied down’ was linked to her relationship.

And, what she hadn’t shared with me in that initial chat, but shared on that day 6 months laster was that she linked ‘feeling free’ to ‘not being in my relationship’.

She said that the latter thought was something she’d NEVER voiced.  And even when she thought about it, it was only ever a fleetingly thought and then it was dismissed.

So, while the conversation with us had felt great, the underlying mixed feelings (<<<LINK) and negative links to what she believed needed to happen in order for her to get to the feeling of being free, paralysed her.

I took Sarah through the 3 “Moving Past being Stuck” strategies so she could give them a test run (albeit in hindsight).

1) Project it out.

Sarah could have considered the ‘worst case’ scenario.  What if here fear was true?!  She could compare another 10 years of feeling tied down to the worst case of leaving her husband in the next year (which would certainly feel bad at least initially) and having 9 years of not “feeling tied down” (and not being with her hubby).  She said this might work in other scenarios for but in this situation it didn’t work as the feeling of not being with her hubby was not a good feeling!

2) Be your own best friend.

This one may have worked she said.  If she had been able to get away from the overwhelming feeling of having to leave her husband in order to feel free then she may have been able to see one of the hundreds of other alternative outcomes that didn’t involve the worst case of leaving her hubby. While she wouldn’t have known how to take action she would have felt good about making the decision to do coaching.

3) Do it for the kids

For Sarah this was the sure fire strategy.  She certainly wanted her children to be able to look after their own well being and happiness in the future.  And she understood that for her to give them the best chance of being able to do that she would need to role model it herself.  With that in mind the idea of taking a step in faith and trusting her original belief in herself and the coaching would be the best way to proceed.

So, if you’ve been in Sarah’s position we’d encourage you to run your concerns through the Moving Past Being Stuck strategies so you can free yourself up and start moving toward your ideal life!