Dealing with Pressure

 

Below are a series of relatively simple tips to help you use any kind of pressure to YOUR advantage.

 

 Step 1) Acknowledge it! 

It’s pretty challenging (impossible really) to work with something you’re ignoring.
So, get good at acknowledging what bodily signals tell you that you are feeling some form of pressure.

Step 2) Decide what you want to do with it.

I strongly believe the best way to deal with pressure is to use it to learn and grow and that’s what I’m going to talk about in this article.

For the record, some other choices are:
Ignore it and simply get on with it.   This works to a degree.  But you run the very real risk of eventually cracking.
Silver line it.  Make the pressure into some form of work out.  Again, it has some uses but this approach is only a good short term one. See here for why.
Blame others for how you feel. The most limited but it’s an option.  Rather than dealing with it, you simply throw it at others.

Now, let’s focus on the former.
If we commit to learning and growing whenever we feel under pressure then we get access to a wonderful choice…
Do we want to learn and grow just enough to enjoy ourselves as we are and enjoy our current life, effortlessly.  This is a very valid option!
Or
Do we want to learn to deal with the current level of pressure that we have and then actively seek to get out of our comfort zone so we can find more pressure with the aim of becoming an even more amazing version of ourselves over time? An equally valid option.  

If the latter is your choice the seek to acknowledge every ounce of pressure (or as much as you can in the moment) and use it to learn and grow.  It’s a form of Conscious Evolution.  Where we are choosing how much and how fast we grow.

 Step 3) Deal with it.   (in this case >> Use it to learn and grow.)

How we should deal with pressure
In order to use it to our advantage
depends on two things.

Is it time limited?  Or not?
And, are we handling it relatively easily? Or not? 
 
 

Dealing with Pressure that is:

Time Limited.  Easy to Handle.

A simple argument with a relatively close family member.
It may be intense at the time but you know it’ll come to an end in one discussion and you’ll both get over it.

This kind of pressure is the best kind.
It’s a chance to see who we are and how well we are preforming while knowing at the same time that we’re dealing with it well.  And, we know that even if we stopped doing happily handling the pressure, it’s going to come to an end relatively quickly.

Tips to deal with this kind of pressure:

1) See it as a soft light.

Use the light to consciously and actively gain insight and awareness into who you are and how you handle life.
Who are you being in the moment?
Have you been here before?
How are you handling things this time? 

2) See it as a gentle tap.

If you are feeling pressure but handling it well you have the chance to work on yourself without the stakes being high.
What’s working?
What’s not?
What could you do differently in the future?

When we see it as a tool it suddenly becomes useful and less tedious. 

 

Dealing with Pressure that is:
Undefined Time Limit.  Easy to Handle.

A complex argument with a relatively close family member.
You’re confident you can handle it but you just don’t know how long it will take.

Similar to the above but the timeframe is undefined… the uncertainty around the completion timeframe adds it’s own intrinsic form of pressure to the event.  This form of pressure is useful in that it starts off as a relatively soft light but as time goes on our energy levels drop and the light can start to feel brighter. 

Tips to deal with this kind of pressure:

1) Set your own internal timeframe.

While it may not be real, seeing a possible deadline keeps you focussed and relaxed and the only time you need to deal with the time extra pressure of the undefined time is if you don’t meet your deadline and you need to set a new one.

2) Get external input.

If we can’t move through a situation of pressure quickly it’s s sign we need to upgrade our skills.

Read a book, do a course, speak to trusted mentor or someone who knows more about the specific topic than you do so you can learn and grow more quickly.  While the pressure is handled easily if you have too many of these minor issues open at one time, together they can cause your energy to drain faster than you can learn to solve the problems.

 

Dealing with Pressure that is:

Time Limited.  A Challenge to Handle.

A confronting discussion with a relatively close family member.
It’s intense, personal and hurtful.  The discussion may come to an end but the feelings of hurt that it creates may take a while to move past.

This kind of pressure is tough.
The light it shines is not just bright, it’s like a laser that sears and burns your skin.
It makes you aware of your short comings in the moment and for a long while after. 

1) Focus on being aware of what you do while under pressure.

Short bursts of intense pressure* shine a bright light on our hidden patterns.  It’s a great chance to see an amplified version of how we handle similar situations.  If we get angry or nasty, teary or wet and pathetic under intense pressure then we use that defence mechanism, albeit in a far more subtle form on a day to day basis.  While under intense pressure we don’t need to focus on “doing” anything, we just gather the information and then use it down the track when we feel a lighter but similar version of the pressure. 

2) Seek to express yourself as you deal with the pressure.

When you express yourself (either in writing or to another person) you have the chance to expire the pressure as it builds up.  As we express ourselves in this high pressure situation our emotions are amplified in our language.  And expressing ourselves is a way to get other people’s feedback on who we are being.  If we write when have the chance of looking back when we are calm.  We can see who we are being and make a decision about whether or not we would like to learn and grow so we can handle the situation better next time around.  If we express ourselves to others when we are amplified, they will be able to easily reflect how our way of being affects them.  And in doing so we can seek to learn how to exist in a way that feels good to ourselves, first and then, after we have that mastered, to others too. **

 

Dealing with Pressure that is:
Undefined Time Limit.  A Challenge to Handle.

Being in business with a family member and coming across a business challenge that highlights underlying grievances.

Not only is it intense, personal and hurtful, but because of the extra tie of business, the confronting systemic family issue that is brought to the surface needs to be dealt with over a prolonged period of time. (This is why they say never mix family and business!)

Tips to deal with this kind of pressure:

1) Acknowledge you’re out of your depth and that you NEED to learn and grow.

Since the pressure is not going to dissipate any time soon, you’ve got no option other than to get good at working with it.  The quicker you realise you are under pressure and that you need to learn and grow in order to have any chance to deal with it over the longer term, the better placed you are to ending up in a solid position – or at least in a position that is the best of a bad lot!  The longer you wait the more energy you waste.   If you’re not good at growing under pressure see ** below.

2) Accept the assistance of others you trust when it’s offered.

Often when we are put under pressure that’s so intense we’ll end up struggling to feel good when we wake up in the morning.  It’s in these times that the energy and focus that helps us to calibrate ourselves is unconsciously directed to dealing with the issue.  So our ability to watch ourselves and accurately witness how we are being is drastically impaired.  It’s at these times that we need to heed the well intentioned advice of those we trust when we feel our normal selves.

I hope these tips are of use and that they help you to see the pressures of life as a joyous gift! 

* Note: Intense crippling pressure can send our system into overload and see us feeling numb, disconnected and uninspired.  The affects of such an overload can last for years, many years, indeed for a life time if not dealt with.  If you’ve been through a serious life event and you can see that within a year or so after that event you lost your mojo you’ve likely been crippled by the pressure of intense feelings.  It is possible (and, indeed relatively easy) to get your energy back, restore your mojo, and start to feel again!  Contact us at InspireTribe to find out how.

 ** Want an expert to reflect who you are being when under pressure? Contact us at InspireTribe.  We’re trained to reflect who you are being in a simple and effective way so you get to make clear choices about who you want to be. AND we can show you the fastest path to become the person you want to be.

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