Uncovering Unconscious Gaps: 3 Examples
EXAMPLE 1. Recent Promotion should feel good, but there’s something missing.
EXAMPLE 2. I’m not sure where to start! Life is good but I don’t feel great.
EXAMPLE 3. I know I love my husband but it doesn’t feel like it any more.

EXAMPLE 1.
Recent Promotion should feel good,
but there’s something missing.

STEP 1)  Consider something that’s logically good in your life
but that doesn’t feel AMAZING.

Getting promoted to the position I’ve always aspired to.

STEP 2)  List 5 reasons as to why this apparently good thing in your life is good

1. I’ve worked 10 years to get here.
2. It’s further than I thought I’d get to.
3. The pay is great.
4. The team is lovely.
5. It keeps my family in the life they’re accustomed to.

STEP 3)  List 5 reasons why this good thing in your life is NOT actually good it’s BAD.

1. I hate the hour of travel.
2. I don’t feel I can really make a difference in such a big company.
3. I’m not inspired by what we sell.
4. I’m not connected to what I do on a day-to-day basis.
5. I’m doing this for others, not for me.

STEP 4)  Pick the one that FEELS most truthful to us.

See “Making Congruent Decisions” to ensure you are not logically over-riding the most correct answer!

Answer in this case: I’m doing this for others, not for me.

STEP 5) Check if the issue feels right, then LOGICALLY justify why this issue has come up as FEELING like the most truthful answer.

It’s my truth because I took the path my father encouraged me to take.
I loved ‘information technology’ but he said ‘law’ was the path for me.
I wanted to do my own thing but I was only 17…

STEP 6)  Do something about it!!

Just reading a truth like this in B&W feels like a big step in itself and one that will allow me to start to make choices for myself instead of my parents.

EXAMPLE 2.
I have no idea where to start,
my life is good but it just doesn’t feel great!

STEP 1)  Consider something that’s logically good in your life but that doesn’t feel AMAZING.

My life as a whole fits that description!

STEP 2) List 5 reasons as to why this apparently good thing in your life is good

1. I’ve got smart kids and I love them…
2. I’ve got a lovely wife.
3. I’ve got the house and the car.
4. I’ve got a great job.
5. I get to take holidays regularly.

STEP 3) List 5 reasons why this good thing in your life is NOT actually good it’s BAD.

1. My wife is lovely but she feels distant to me.
2. My kids are smart and I love them but they are demanding, distant and often ungrateful.
3. The house and the car cost money and so I feel tied to my job.
4. My job is ok, but I wonder if I want to do something else.
5. The holidays are less about fun and more about recovering, so I can do it all over again.

STEP 4) Pick the one that FEELS most truthful.

See “Making Congruent Decisions” to ensure you are not logically over-riding the most correct answer!

Answer in this case: My wife is lovely but she feels distant to me.

STEP 5) Check if the issue feels right, then LOGICALLY justify why this issue has come up as FEELING like the most truthful answer

It feels depressingly true.   :/
I watch my wife get excited about seeing her friends, riding her horse and even taking the kids to a family movie.  In all cases she is happier than when she’s doing pretty much anything with me.
She seems to be resentful about how much I work, and resentful of lots of her life even though she has chosen to do it all!

STEP 6) Do something about it!!

I need to have an honest chat with my wife.
Something needs to change.

EXAMPLE 3.
I know I love my husband
but it doesn’t feel like it anymore.

STEP 1) Consider something that’s logically good in your life but that doesn’t feel AMAZING.

My husband of 10 years.

STEP 2) List 5 reasons as to why this apparently good thing in your life is good

1. He loves me and tells me so all the time
2. My friends love him and think we are a great couple
3. He’s a wonderful father
4. He’s smart and funny
5. He has a successful career

STEP 3) List 5 reasons why this good thing in your life is NOT actually good it’s BAD.

1. I don’t feel good about myself around him.
2. He is present a lot but it doesn’t feel like he really listens to me.
3. He makes me doubt myself.
4. He doesn’t support the decisions I want to make for myself.
5. His perfect life is not my perfect life.

STEP 4) Pick the one that FEELS most truthful.

See “Making Congruent Decisions” to ensure you are not logically over-riding the most correct answer!

Answer in this case: He makes me doubt myself.

STEP 5) Check if the issue feels right, then LOGICALLY justify why this issue has come up as FEELING like the most truthful answer

When we got together I thought he was amazing.  Hi adoration of me made me feel great about myself but over the years he’s subtly chipped away at my confidence.  I feel like I’ve lost myself.  I’m a shadow of who I used to be.

STEP 6) Do something about it!!

I need to learn to stand up for myself.  I have no idea where to start but just making that decision feels like a solid step in the right direction!

Next Step: Click here for the instructions on how to try this for yourself so you can find your GAP and become clearer on how to access the potential that you know you’ve got within yourself.

Do you you want to close the gap fast?  

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